homecoming

His:
You're home!  We've been apart and now you're back and I'm so looking forward to getting reacquainted and ending our sexual sabbatical!  And...the new toys are here, the new toys are here!

Hers:

I am writing at the table and you are 20 feet away on the couch.  I have in my headphones, working, and you are watching television.

We have spent the last few nights apart.  We have new 'marital aids' to test out, charging upstairs.

I will take a bath.  I will wash conference rooms and hotel air out of my hair.  I will shave my legs.  I will oil myself with rich lotion.

The rest is up to you, and I hope you make me forget every agenda and breakout room and scheduled break.